Untitled.

And with a whisper and a wink he was gone.  "Into the wild", as he so delicately put it.  I'm glad he said something.  Just the fact that he even told me where he was headed, that he even had the thought to explain, that is altogether reassuring.  Reassuring of what, I don't know.  I go through so many bouts of hate with him, there are so many times where I would like nothing more than to throw him off a cliff.  He never feels that way about me, though.  I know that.  He doesn't want to throw me off a cliff, why should I throw him?  I've constantly been told by people who know us both very well, that we will remain friends throughout our entire lives.  Most of the time, I can't even believe that could ever be true because I get so frustrated with him.  So much of the time I can't even understand that.

But then there I was, laying in bed watching an episode of Scrubs, and my phone lights up.  A text message?  From him?  I could only imagine what it could say.  I thought it was a mistake at first.  All he said, though, was that he was leaving to go backpacking, he wouldn't be here when I left for school, so he wanted to wish me good luck and he knows I'm gonna do great.  There's a part of me that is frustrated with the fact that he could even think that text message would mean ANYTHING to me, but of course, sentimentality gets the better of me, and I shouldn't rebel, I should just be gracious.  He didn't have to say anything, I fully expected him not to, but he did, and it was very nice, and somehow proves that I wasn't a total dumbass when I was in love with him.  See, he's an actual human being, and I did maybe mean something to him at some point...

He'll be gone for 10 days, in some unknown world, with no cell phone or computer or anything.  I can finally stop holding my breath and relax.  No danger of seeing him or anything.  He's out doing his own thing, and I'm about to do mine.  It's really quite relieving.  I'm glad he left before me, now I don't have to worry about goodbyes or confrontations.  Fuck it.  Forget it.  He's gone.

It's just nice to know there are no hard feelings on his end.  He was fine with contacting me.  And that's a start.