My heart hurts. The beat of anger and the beat of hurt are all rolled into one pounding tempo that will not shut the fuck up. I'm chewing on my teeth because my pride has been worn down too thin. I'm always hurt. I always end up hurt by someone, I can't get attached to anyone. They always end up leaving me for another person, another summer, another country, another life. And I'm always alone sitting here wondering what I did wrong. They always change. They always change and don't bring me with them, they leave me behind. I trust and I trust and I trust and then I'm thrown away.
I'm just so tired. I want a break. Please, God, Buddha, Allah, whoever the fuck you are, can I get a goddam break? Can you please just give me something constant that isn't going to rip my heart out at the drop of a hat? Can I please just exist for once? Can the things I want just please want me back?
I have to get out of this town away from everyone.
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