Viva La Vida

A chapter in my life has been closed.  A new beginning has started and it feels wonderful.  I have finally let go of what is done, what is over, and I am finally ok with doing so.  It doesn't hurt, it does not cause me pain, and I feel so much stronger, so independent.  I miss him, yes, but I don't NEED him anymore.  It is no longer necessary for me to see him, to talk to him, to remain in his life.  All that is here now is the present and the future.  I don't even feel the past.  I cannot express to you how glorious this feels.  To be so free, to be so distant, and yet feel so unified.  No longer in repair, no longer blaming it on a simple twist of fate the regrets are gone, the anger is gone, everything has fallen into place, and I have done it all on my own.

Yesterday was very cleansing.  I was given the chance to experience a lot of new things, to move on to something completely different and unique and life-changing.  I worked with people I had just met and constructed relationships with all of these people.  I entered a new life.

This morning I woke up feeling like hell.  My head hurt, my eyes wouldn't open, my stomach was all messed up, I was ridiculously sore; I felt awful.  But it wasn't the kind of awful where you don't want to do anything.  In fact, I felt more motivated than ever.  What I think happened was that because I did so many new things yesterday, so many cleansing processes, my body is now trying to get rid of all the toxins that polluted me before.  I'm working all the bad stuff out of my system and conforming into this new person.  Now I feel like doing everything all the time.  Even right now when I am utterly exhausted and going on 6 hours of sleep, I still want to go for a run.  Or dance.  Or just move in some way.  I'm still open to do all of that, because it has all been so refreshing so far.

I've never experienced anything like this before.  Being able to let go of all my inhibitions and just live and be with people who have no idea who I was or even am, and I'm free to be whoever I want.  No point of reference, except my own.  How fantastic.